Hi Readers, I’m back with another book review. I’m on a roll this month! I’ve been wanting to read this right from when I participated in the cover reveal years ago. I sadly left Nigeria before I could get my copy but Rhoda at Cassava Republic was nice enough to send me a copy! I’ve saved it for when I was mentally ready for it – As the tile suggest, it’s an heavy read. In this post, I’ll be sharing my thoughts on An Unusual Grief by Yewande Omotoso. My copy was sent to me by Cassava Republic.
My thoughts
This book was a real emotional heavyweight, and I could sense it even before diving in. That’s probably why I’ve been sticking to lighter reads ever since finishing it—gotta give my heart a breather, you know?
Right from the synopsis, we learn about Yinka, Mojisola’s daughter, and her tragic passing. Their relationship has always been complex, and it seems like a big part of that stems from Mojisola not fully opening up and being vulnerable with her daughter. There’s this one moment when Yinka asks Mojisola a question as a young girl, and Mojisola brushes it off. It seems insignificant at first glance, but those small instances really shape the course of their relationship.
When Mojisola learns about her daughter’s death, it hits her hard. She decides to move into Yinka’s apartment and, in her grief-stricken state, sets out to unravel the mystery surrounding Yinka’s passing. I sure hope my parents don’t go through my diary/laptop should I die. I can’t help but imagine Yinka rolling in her grave when her mother stumbles upon her laptop!
It was heartbreaking to watch Mojisola try to connect with her daughter after her passing. While she lived in Yinka’s apartment, she does some things which may seem strange to anyone else but you can’t help but empathize with her. I simply cannot imagine how difficult it is to lose a child. This journey brings up memories of Mojisola’s own past—her childhood, her traumas, her family dynamics, her marriage, and above all, her bond with her daughter. The author really explores the complexities of grief and how it manifests differently in each person. It’s raw and, at times, uncomfortable, but then again, I guess Mojisola doesn’t owe us readers any comfort, right?
I’ve heard it said that daughters often hold their mothers to a higher standard, and honestly, I’ve often wondered where that expectation comes from. I share this on my instagram story and I got an answer that I think is worth sharing.
“I think it boils down to indoctrination. Even the most progressive people have to consciously unlearn these things. We are born into a system where men get away with everything and women get away with nothing. You assimilate that every day of your life growing up and it consciously or subconsciously impacts the lens through which we view women compared with men. So, we hold them to much higher standards cos that’s what society has taught us to do.”
The author skillfully navigates the messy terrain of relationships—the mother-daughter dynamic, the crushing weight of grief, the trials of parenthood, and a grieving woman’s journey to self-discovery, which, in my opinion, was the most beautiful aspect of this book.
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